Week 2, The Drama

The Situation: Brooks confession his personal strife
How Dramatic Was It? Very, very dramatic!  Brooks actually thought about not immediately confession his pain, about waiting until he could be certain that Desiree knew his last name. Since I imagine that, if he had not decided to bare his soul, a trap door would have opened sending him immediately plunging into the roiling ocean below, Brooks was momentarily in some very real mortal peril.
Who's to Blame? There's a mystery at the heart of this drama that makes it hard to know just exactly where the onus should be placed. Desiree asked Brooks about his parent' divorce, indicating that she had previous knowledge of this sad event. If Brooks told her about this on the first night, then he definitely deserves all the blame.  One should never admit to having divorced parents on the Bachelor(ette) and if one inexplicably does, it must be immediately followed by a length explanation and notarized proof that, despite suffering a plight so heinous that it afflicts half of the country, you are still capable of loving and being loved. If Desiree googled him (which, by the way, you have to think she totally goes home and does immediately following the first cocktail party) or if the producers tipped her off, well then, it's their fault almost to the same extent that it's just super messed up.

The Situation: Ben's showdown with the Michaels
How Dramatic was it? It registered a solid 43.2 Pacinoits (The American unit of measurement for drama. The equivalent of 5.4 Daylewisometers on the international scale).
Who's to Blame: Mostly the Michaels. Every year, contestants speak as if there is some sort of unwritten code for how long you must wait before interrupting one-on-one time - and maybe there is. But for those of us watching at home, for whom their conversations are only marginally rooted in space and time, it all seems a bit arbitrary (actually, I bet there's a really good dissertation in there somewhere - Bachelor-loving economists, you're welcome!). Ben may have violated this code, but he apologized, and I'd wager that he wasn't trying to steal the spotlight from Michael's diabetes. I know we're not supposed to be on team Ben, but all I saw was him trying to extricate himself from the drama while everyone else tried to make it worse. That being said, if he keeps insisting on referencing the creepy secret kiss nonsense with Desiree, I am totally game to hold his arms back while a Michael of some variety puts his money where his mouth is.

The Situation: The final rose
How Dramatic was it? Not at all dramatic, but maybe a little bit surprising. Clearly not the whole Will going home thing that we all saw coming from a mile away, but that Robert got sent home without meriting even one Chris Harrison mystery pun of love.
Who's to Blame? Desiree. Given the unprecedented nature of sending a guy home without even a group date, my guess is that the producers weren't at all involved. That being said, everyone on the Bachelorette team should know that we need to receive a visual itemized list of Robert's many offenses before we can accurately know how to feel. Did he confess that Diogo's suit of armor was actually on loan from him (which, you have to admit, would at the very least add an impressive degree of difficulty to his sign spinning)? Did he tattle on one of her early favorites? Did he confess to secretly being a blonde? I may blame Des for the seemingly unfounded decision, but producers, I think we all know to blame you and your careless editing decisions for the week of sleepless nights.