Week 2, The Scores

	Amber – 30 Eliminated +5 for crying +10 for referencing her connection with Chris +10 for kissing in a group setting Bonus: +5 for a deliberate double entendre about goats milk Important Info: So, in general, I have no issue whatsoever with the Bachelor kissing pretty much whomever he wants. It's the nature of the show. And Mackenzie's mini meltdown about it was yet another sign of her extreme youth. But Amber's validation of Chris' choices - that he's kissing everyone because he's trying to find a wife - seemed a bit, well, wrong. Otherwise, at least 7 out of every 10 marriages would be the result of putting in some serious time at a charity kissing booth.
	Kardashley - 35 +5 for crying +5 for a rose +10 for kissing in a group date setting Bonus: +15 for complaining about Jillian to Chris. Bold move. Important Info: You guys may need to keep me honest with the scoring for Kardashley here because I have developed a strong distaste for her. All I can say is that she would be well-advised not to spend too much time crying in the week's to come as it caused some rather serious maintenance issues.
	Ashley S. – 5 +5 for a rose Important Info: somebody seems to have gotten her meds better calibrated this week. While I'm relieved, you have to this that, despicably, the producers won't force the issue of Chris keep her around for too much longer.
	Becca – 55 +20 for a date rose +10 for referencing her connection with Chris +10 for referencing her parents' beautiful, beautiful love +15 for Chris commenting on her attractiveness Important Info: Part of me is tempted to  award Becca points for awkward hugging in a group date setting, but...I think I would have felt better about commending her for her refusal to participate in the smooching parade if she hadn't felt the need to make a whole big thing about it.
	Britt - 15 +5 for a rose +10 for kissing in a  group date setting Important Info: Britt is in serious need of a one-on-one date in the very near future. As it stands, there's some concern she is developing a deeper connection with Jillian than she is with Chris. Unless there's some lost footage somewhere on the cutting room floor of Britt advocating for some of Chris' moves to be translated into slo-mo as well....
	Carly – 25 +5 for a rose +10 for kissing in a group date setting Bonus: +10 for winning the farm relay race Important Info: While I certainly prioritize winning a complex, multi-stepped farm-themed relay race above winning a 30 minute tractor race in downtown Los Angeles in the scoring, it's important to note that Chris does not necessarily prioritize this in his quest for a wife. I always quite enjoy the huffy reactions prompted by the winner of the egg-on-spoon race/volleyball game/friendship bracelet making competition fails to get a rose.
	Jade – 30 +5 for a rose +10 for kissing in a group date setting Bonus: +15 for clearly invading Chris' thoughts enough to cause him to call Jimmy Kimmel by her name. Important Info: ...Or maybe she and Jimmy just sort of look alike? If you tilt your head just right and you squint?
	Jillian – 35 +5 for a rose +20 for kissing in a group date setting x the hot tub bonus Bonus: +10 for wearing a "Stay Classy" shirt...while just generally being her. I just can't not. Important Info: So, obviously Jillian is not long for this show given that Chris was willing to say less than flattering things about her to one of the other girls, but I continue to enjoy her. Could she have handled the whole hottub invasion better than she did? Sure. But I still found myself fully supporting her reaction to Kardashley's and her cadre's nearly incomprehensible alone time mental math.
	Juelia – 30 +5 for a rose +5 for crying +10 for making Chris cry +10 for revealing a personal tragedy, which interestingly, seems to have happened off camera.  Important Info: Juelia's history is both tragic and harrowing. But I can't help thinking she's not ready to be on this show. Or maybe it's just that I feel like people who have been through what she's been through should never be ready for this kind of show.
	Kaitlyn – 55 +20 for a date rose +10 (5 x 2) for kissing on a one-on-one with a hottub bonus +15 for having Chris comment on her attractiveness Bonus: +10 for making Chris squirm by claiming she has done weirder than engage in Jimmy's condiment-related fetishes Important Info: Her one-on-one date vacillated between delightful banter and the kind of self-aware discussion of how fun their normal-ness was together than generally leaves me cold. It seems like their interactions in the future could go either way. Let's hope Jimmy's absence doesn't tip the balance in favor of the annoying and stilted.
	Kelsey – 5 +5 for a rose Important Info: My only thought on Kelsey this week is, maybe she shouldn't be so keen on moving to Iowa either. Counselor jobs are hard to find these days!
	Mackenzie – 25 +5 for a rose Bonus: +10 for tattling on Jillian to the rest of the girls +10 for awkwardly asking Chris why he was kissing everyone else. Important Info: Although backing off with the cleverly crafted, "Yeah, no. I was just curious" was a pretty brilliant cover for her ill-conceived misstep.
	Megan – 15 +5 for a rose +10 for referencing her connection with Chris Important Info: A connection that was apparently so strong that by the end of the episode, she was expressing fears that he had forgotten about her.
	Nikki – 5 +5 for a rose Important Info: Nikki was allowed to talk this week! She celebrated by saying absolutely nothing of note.
	Samantha – 5 +5 for a rose Important Info: Given they were weirdly cagey about showing which girl would get the one-on-one date next week, I'm guessing she will be the lone girl to get sent home. I'm also guessing that she will be Samantha.

Tracy – 0 Eliminated Important Info: Tracy seems to be wreaking all kinds of havoc with my formatting on this post, so I'm not entirely sad to see her go. But kudos to her, regardless, for going out with class. Though it is obviously to the detriment of any of you who drafted her that she couldn't manage to at least squeeze out a few tears! Trina – 0 Important Info: Though you made a brave effort with your 80's fabulous-ness this week, you are a grave disappointment to me, Trina, nonetheless. Whitney – 55 +5 for crying + 5 for kissing on a one-on-one +20 for a date rose +10 for referencing her connection with Chris Bonus: +5 for matching Chris' outfit with her pink shirt +10 for aggressively going after the bouquet Important Info: Anyone who has Whitney is lucky this week that I do not believe in negative points because, if I did, she would lose EVERYTHING for saying "YOLO." I suppose I should take some small comfort from the fact that it wasn't "YOPO."