Day 1, The Inevitable Disappointment that will Unfailingly be Wrought by Chris

So I admit that I'm not exactly ending on a positive note, but realistically, disappointment is an eventuality we should probably all be preparing ourselves for. It doesn't have to be that way for the Bachelorettes - in fact, sometimes I end a season liking the Bachelorette a good deal more than I did coming into it (No, sorry, Desiree. Not you). But with the men, any time I think they've made a halfway decent choice, I end the season in a very different place.

Not too shabby right now. But not too shabby is just a pit stop
along the road to perpetually punch-able.

Sean turned out to be a total misogynist; Jake turned out to be the love child of a wet blanket and that gross scum you find under the soap dish in your shower...if that scum was a fame whore. Even Ben,
who seemed funny and smart enough to make up for being only marginally attractive turned out to be the condescending mouthpiece for his puppet mistress Courtney. There really is just no good way for this to end.

Sure. Right now, Chris seems sensible. He seems hard-working and respectful and kind and shockingly dateable. But that's right now. I can't predict how he'll do it, can't predict what character flaw, or penis-driven decision-making will emerge. But I can tell you, in less than three months time, I'll be pleased to avoid his debut on Dancing with the Stars.