But Lauren H....oh Lauren H....she has it all!
To start with, she's 25 and single. I'm going to write that again for emphasis, in case you didn't fully appreciate its dire-ness the first time through. She is 25 and single. But at least she isn't 30 yet, because, in the measured and cleverly crafted words of Lauren herself: "Ah, [in 5 years] I'll be 30! FML." (Naturally, I'm 31 and so was initially utterly baffled by her tricky, tricky code. What reaction could she possibly be having to someday reaching the advanced age of 30? What could FML mean? "Finding myself lucky?" "Finally making logical choices?" "Friday Monkey Linoleum?" But I googled it...and it sadly turns out to mean none of those things).
Not only has she reached the age of desperation, but she's not afraid to show it. Because apparently she has an entire pinterest board of wedding stuff. (Again, I took to google...with the help of a much younger friend, and it turns out that pinterest is some sort of virtual dream board/acceptable form of adult collage. I somehow failed to utilize this avenue for my actual wedding, but I guess I was 27 when I got married....too old for dreams).
Finally, as if all of this wasn't enough to prompt a mid-season snap when Ben had the audacity to take a 32 year old (with children! Gross!) on a date, Lauren H. seems to be a creepily un-self-aware Bachelor superfan. She admits to wanting to be Chris Harrison (I just typed Christ Harrison...given the holiday, that feels right); she says if she could go anywhere, it would be California because that's where the Bachelor mansion is; and she says she mostly meets men through television shows. She is definitely half-kidding about some, if not all of these things, but....I think we all know it's that other half that really counts!
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