I've already commented on the fact that any woman who says her biggest date fear isn't being gruesomely murdered is a liar. But I have yet to comment on the falsehood that these ladies came up with to cover up their ultimate fear. And that is an omission that cannot be allowed to stand. For when asked what their biggest date fear was. For a survey. That they knew would be made public. Nearly 1/3 of these women came up with some form of bodily function (Yes, I counted. And yes, I'm sure my parents are very proud). Sure, some of them made mention of body odor or sweating (which is a little hard for me to buy as a fear, as I pretty much take some light sweating as a given when faced with anything as stressful as a date. Or a job interview. Or checking emails on a Tuesday), but mostly, they went for the full frontal vulgar with violent gas, diarrhea and one very special mention of "di-di." Now, I'm not saying that stomach discomfort is, in any way, to be coveted while on a date, but if the sheer thought of experiencing it sends you into convulsions of terror, shouldn't mentioning it to the rest of the country register ever so slightly higher on the embarrassment scale as well?
Because e-mail has become cumbersome, because I wanted to make it easier for each of you to ignore me, and because I didn't find "Bachelor Fantasy League Commissioner" a shameful enough title and wanted to add "and blogger" to the list, I've created this lovely site to help regulate our league. I'll be updating it at least weekly with scoring summaries, but feel free to visit as (in)frequently as you like.
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Day 8, An Unprecedented Fascination with Bodily Functions
I've already commented on the fact that any woman who says her biggest date fear isn't being gruesomely murdered is a liar. But I have yet to comment on the falsehood that these ladies came up with to cover up their ultimate fear. And that is an omission that cannot be allowed to stand. For when asked what their biggest date fear was. For a survey. That they knew would be made public. Nearly 1/3 of these women came up with some form of bodily function (Yes, I counted. And yes, I'm sure my parents are very proud). Sure, some of them made mention of body odor or sweating (which is a little hard for me to buy as a fear, as I pretty much take some light sweating as a given when faced with anything as stressful as a date. Or a job interview. Or checking emails on a Tuesday), but mostly, they went for the full frontal vulgar with violent gas, diarrhea and one very special mention of "di-di." Now, I'm not saying that stomach discomfort is, in any way, to be coveted while on a date, but if the sheer thought of experiencing it sends you into convulsions of terror, shouldn't mentioning it to the rest of the country register ever so slightly higher on the embarrassment scale as well?
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