Episode 4, The Girls

I have to admit it. I'm falling for some of these girls. Unlike Sean, I haven't told seven or eight of them that I'm crazy about them or hinted at a high potential of us spending the rest of our lives together, but more than usual, I find myself identifying girls with whom I'd like to grab a drink. If I hadn't accidentally seen spoilers, I would have no idea who Sean was going to pick, but given my level of emotional investment, I can't really fault the guy for dropping mixed signals about who he wants to be his wife. So here, in order of the warmth of my feelings toward them, are this week's top performers:




Selma: So, aside from her being my sweaty soul sister, I actually really respect what happened with Selma this week. Not only did she stick to a moral/religious dictate that most of the country feels is dated, but she did it in spite of the fact that she really, really just wanted to plant one on Sean. What I really liked about this interaction was that she stood her ground without sounding overly earnest or pious. She stated her beliefs and didn't feel the need to preach or undercut herself by explaining them away.  Do I think that there's a slight inconsistency in not being okay with kissing on camera, but being totally fine with your guy making out with everyone else?  Sure! Do I think that Sean and Selma can make it work despite their religious differences? In spite of the fact that she spent most of the date using Sean's arms as a push-up bra, not a chance! But this week, Selma convinced me that she's a pretty cool girl, and I don't really feel like picking her apart.

Catherine: Catherine seems normal and cute and funny in a way that Sean seems to get (between his pranks and his laughing at Catherine's "meat" joke a few episodes back, I'm willing to bet that his humor sweet spot includes a nerf ball and the sub-belly button region). Because of that, I'm trying not to hold it against her that, at this week's rose ceremony, she gave Sean a "kiss" that she extracted from her vagina.  A VAGINA KISS.  Shoot, now I also have to try not to hold it against her that she made me write those words.

AshLee: Ultimately, I'm not sure that AshLee and I could ever be good friends.Aside from the fact that I would find it very difficult not to call her AshLeeeeeeee to her slightly immobile face, she seems like the kind of girl with a high need for pep talks and a low tolerance for sarcasm. This week, however, AshLee's earnestness led to a real moment of human kindness the likes of which is rarely seen in this show built on the emotional husks of heartbroken castoffs and aspiring tabloid headlines. I don't want to dwell on Sarah's roller derby breakdown because it makes me sad to think of anyone sustaining emotional damage at the hands of an activity driven by pink short shorts and violently punny names, but AshLee's consoling conversation with her was genuine and agendaless and kind. And after Kacie B. went dark, it was refreshing to see someone who hadn't yet abandoned all sense of decency.

Amanda: Secretly, I think it's hilarious that Amanda lied about her roller derby ability. And by secretly, I mean publicly.  And by publicly, I mean "for the benefit of the eight people who read this blog"-ly.

Leslie H.: Leslie's date played like a job interview (a job interview peppered with "holy moly" and "neat-o" and, I don't know, probably "gee whiz!"), and given his connection with the other women, I think Sean was totally justified in sending her home. But despite the fact that I think Leslie was something of a sacrificial lamb on the alter of the gods of "Sean hasn't sent anyone home on a one-on-one yet," one can't help but wonder if the whole thing might have played out differently if she hadn't mentioned her parents' divorce.

Tierra: I wrote down a million notes about Tierra's performance this week. Notes about her hilariously petulant apology and whether she was really leaving or just playing Sean for a rose. But ultimately, my feelings on Tierra boil down to this: I like my villains unambiguously evil and cruelly brilliant. And I really, really miss Courtney.

Robyn: When I saw the prologue clip of Robyn's horrible pick-up line, my first thought was if a man ever said that to me, I would probably break up with him on the spot. Unless he was actually offering me chocolate, in which case, I'd probably go all Lindsay on his ass and show up to our next date in a wedding dress. Embedded in the pick-up line bit, the moment wasn't as cringe-worthy as I feared, but come on, Robyn. This isn't amateur hour. That's first night, fresh out of the limo shtick. There's no room for that in Episode 4.