Juan Pablo really set the bar high on this one, not because he was a soccer player, but because he made it through a whole season in which they only referred to his former occupation. From my understanding, he has a job (some sort of club promoter, I think), but essentially the Bachelor/ette franchise decided that he piqued, that he should only be allowed to live in his glory days as a professional athlete, that perhaps they shouldn't mention that his real career is reality show aspirant....
Anyway, employed or not, Juan Pablo has the pretty standard cadre of occupations to select from this year. They include:
The Typical
As in any year, Juan Pablo's coterie has its fair share of teachers and nurses, personal trainers and hair stylists, and plenty of sales/accounts/marketing managers/directors/grand poobahs. These girls are a double edged swords as they're more likely to commit to moving if the win they show, but also more likely to leave halfway through the taping on account of, you know, having stuff to do.
The Questionable:
This years questionable jobs range from the possible euphemisms for high price call girls(I'm looking at you Massage Therapist), to those where, while they're likely not hookers, I remain legitimately curious as to what they do all day long. In addition to the "Science Educator" (which - I can probably piece together what she's doing with her time...but why not just say teacher?), this year includes a Mineral Coordinator and a Police Support Specialist. I also have a lot of questions for the Local News Reporter (For example, what percentage of your weekly reports include squirrels trained to water-ski? Do you have to be high-ranking to cover those dramatic weather events that you know everyone is tuning into, but where you're at significantly higher risk of getting attacked by a palm tree? Or is that more of a low-man on the totem pole sort of job?) and, though I will probably live to regret it after the third episode in which she talks about how inspiring the elderly are, I am currently very intrigued by the Nursing Home Owner.
The Probably Shouldn't Be on this Show
There's always a few of them. And this year, there's an Assistant District Attorney, an Opera Singer, and a Music Composer (not to be confused with all those other kinds of composers...like....I don't know...Mulligatawny soup composers...?) who it just seems like should be off, maybe being good at things and, you know, working?
The Hey, that's not a Real Job
You know who you are "Dog Lover" and "Free Spirit." I demand honesty! Or at least a peek at your W-2
The One:
Though many of these women are impressive and most of these women are employed, their resumes are all rendered meaningless, when up against the one. The one woman, who like Juan Pablo, has already piqued in her career. Whose past life as an athlete (of sorts...if you squint real hard) will be the one thing that defines her, not just on this season of the Bachelor, but in LIFE. Juan Pablo, look no further, your dream girl, your soul mate, your Former NBA Dancer is here!
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