Day 12, The Death of the Spanish Language

For Christmas this year, since you've all been very good, I've gotten you a history lesson. Most scholars believe that the death of Latin can be traced, not to a single catastrophic event, but instead to its slow evolution over time into dialects, eventually morphing into the distinct but related romance languages we know today. However, most scholars are wrong. One brave man, Professor Kristoff Harriseine, has a different theory, and one I think that we can learn much from today. Harriseine posits that the death of Latin can, in fact, be traced back to one brave gladiator's stint in the Coliseum.

Not much is known about gladiator Alexus Michelus, though historians believe him to be a well-built and most likely illiterate man who revolutionized the bloody entertainment by making out with each of his opponents before slitting their throats. Alexus, a native Latin speaker, became quite popular with his opponents, many of whom were foreign, and increasingly, they tried to woo him by speaking his language. And even for a man who came home every night covered in the blood of those he had slain, it was pretty brutal. So horrified was the populace by the atrocious pronunciation, offensive mistakes, and just overall unbearable-ness of it all, that they came together as an empire and vowed never to speak Latin again.

And that's pretty much what's about to happen to Spanish.