Week 4, The Feelings

It may surprise you all to learn that my favorite moment from this week didn't have anything to do with Olivia. In fact, it wasn't from the group date at all, nor was it from the impromptu two-on-one for the twins. No, my favorite moment from this week came, very surprisingly, from Ben's one-on-one with Becca, and it went a little something like this:

Ben: I want to know can Becca Love? Can Becca Feel?
Becca: Thank you so much for taking me on this date.
Ben: It's good to feel.
Becca: Yeah, it was nice.
Ben: Please feel things.
Becca: I was scared to feel things with Chris
Ben: That virgin thing is about God, right...?

I may have paraphrased about half of that, but every line Ben said with the word "feel" in it is a direct quote. And what a great moment! Not only was Ben asking the questions we all want answered about Becca, but also who doesn't enjoy a good robot love story? I mean, the ridiculousness of this whole affair is, of course, that outside of a clear capacity for sexual attraction, so far, Ben seems to share Becca's emotional depth. We've seen no illustrations that he feels much of anything at all. And while he may be saying "it's good to feel," what he seems to means is "it's good to talk about what you should feel." Because those women who are clearly experiencing actual human emotion aren't the frontrunners this season. They're the nut jobs.

So let's take a look at Ben's step-by-step guide, Please Feel Things and talk a little bit about some of the women who illustrate exactly what he does and does not mean:


A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words...
Did anyone show us more real emotion this week? Clearly, the choices she made were hers (with, perhaps, a bit of an assist from the producers), but that doesn't mean the panic attack she had afterwards was in any way faked or staged. She thought her show girl act was going to be hilarious and sexy, and as soon as it was clear that she had thought wrong, she was embarrassed enough to go into meltdown mode. And who hasn't made that kind of mistake (although admittedly, most of my regrets include a lower level of sequins and a higher number of clothes)? She was humiliated and she was sad and she was looking for validation from Ben...validation that she did not get...because he has apparently not been programmed to recognized shame. Olivia has come out strong this season as the woman who assumes far, far too much. There's the hidden signals that only she picks up due to, I assume, a correspondence course in semaphore for the nuts. There's the filling in the blanks with things she "knows that Ben can't say" like "40% of our conversation has been about your cankles and yet I feel certain we're falling in love." But despite these bad habits, I don't think it was too much for her to assume that Ben might actually notice she wasn't feeling great. Or at least do more than repeat "don't apologize" when her apology count was clocking in at all of none.

But Words about How Much you Like Me are Priceless
And it turns out that Olivia shouldn't have acted embarrassed or ashamed, which was just a source of confusion for Ben. What she should have done was told him she felt ashamed while maintaining a flat affect, steady eye contact, and a medically-recommended heart rate. Because it there anything more romantic than Lauren B. dispassionately stating "I missed you. I want to be around you all the time" or Becca droning "It's different this season because of how much I feel about you"? Okay the answer is probably yes..there are many things that are more romantic. Long walks on the beach, falling for someone despite the fact that you're more of a cat person and he really loves dogs, probably even getting married by a generic reality television show host who has made absolutely no effort to even plan. But in Ben's eyes, those passionless words are clearly the most romantic of all!

Self-Confidence is Complex
And so is Ben's opinions about when and how you need to have it. There were A LOT of crises in confidence this week, but none that illustrated Ben's complicated relationship with the ladies' self-confidence than those of Jubilee and Jo Jo. On the surface, they appeared very similar. Jo Jo went on a lovely little self-conscious rant about how Ben couldn't possibly like her out of the beauty, charm, and grace that was back in the hotel room, making lewd jokes about the bidet. Where as Jubilee shared that she was always scared that she wouldn't get the rose. And at first, Ben reacted similarly to both, telling both women that they were attractive and wonderful and good.

And Complexity is Intriguing...but Simplicity is Hot
But at this point, the two ladies' reactions veered off course, with Jo Jo accepting her praise with a grin and Jubilee pointed to her curse of being so darn complex! Which was why Jo Jo spent the rest of her evening making out while Jubilee spent hers getting called interesting for at least the 14th time in far fewer weeks.

Open Up...
I have to say, I was expecting Ben to send home the other twin. It's good that he sent home one twin (although not as good as the live aftershow made it sound. His decision to give Haley the boot was lauded as some sort of humanitarian effort, a diplomatic triumph generally reserved for actions that don't involve dumping a girl in front of her mom. Which is ridiculous, because seriously, he can't wind up with either twin. Not after dating them both. We all know that right?), but I thought we were about to see Emily go. It's not that there was remarkable chemistry between Ben and Haley or anything (and if there was, it would be almost impossible to say since ABC has made it abundantly clear that they don't want you to see two people as much as TWINS), but once Emily told Ben that she didn't think that Haley was opening up, I thought she'd be the one crying into a dachshund belly on the couch. But it turns out I was wrong. Because if Ben's sure of anything, it's that he wants people to open up about their emotions. Even if those emotions are mostly dominated by concern for the failure of others to emotionally open up.

No seriously...open up.
And while you are emotionally opening up, maybe open up a few other things? Your arms? Your lips? Other parts of your anatomy that sounds significantly more vulgar? Because if he wasn't sure about Caila after the first week, he's feeling mighty sure about her now. Sex panthers don't have to worry about silly little emotions.