Week 4, The Scores

	Kardashley - 90 +5 for crying +5 for a rose +10 for kissing in a group date setting +20 for intentional nudity +20 for stealing "unsanctioned" time with Chris +10 for complaining about not getting a one-on-one...just really a lot +10 for revealing a personal secret Bonus: +10 for going full-on Miss Havisham and wondering the halls of the Bachelor mansion, bereft and dressed for her date. This week, Ashley was more Dickens than Kardashian Important Info: As much as I dislike Ashley, as much as I feel like she could deal with her shocking virginal status with far more aplomb and, frankly, believability than the tactic she's chosen to take, I still felt like is was a little bit harsh of the post-production team to air the clip of her putting in her hair piece.
	Ashley S. – 60 Eliminated +20 for intoxication (or, you know, whatever is going on there) +10 for kissing in a group date setting +30 for revealing her "love" for Chris (15 x 2 for a WAY too soon bonus) Important Info: Ashley doesn't want us to worry about her at all. While I believe her claim that she feels nothing at all about her separation from Chris, I remain very, very worried.
	Becca – 10 +5 for a rose +5 for revealing a secret, though not yet to Chris Important Info: Becca seems so normal and nice. It would fly in the face of everything that this league stands for to award her points for her rational and understated decision-making, but if it makes Becca-owners feel any better, I'm thinking she might actually be something of a dark horse to win!
	Britt - 25 +5 for a rose +20 for reducing Chris to incoherent stuttering, albeit in the worse way possible Important Info: Oh, Britt. You never go after the girl that the Bachelor is sweating the most. Even Ashley S. lacks the drug-induced lack of inhibitions to attempt something as foolhardy as that. P.S. He liked the nudity. Of course he rewarded it.
	Carly – 35 +5 for a rose +10 for kissing in a group date setting +10 for referencing her grandparent's love (Mom and Dad must not have been thinking about her future career as a reality star when they had the audacity to get divorced) +10 for revealing a personal tragedy...more or less...we're apparently not meant to care enough about Carly to need details Important Info: Carly had numerous questionable moments this week. Saying she wanted Chris to be like her grandfather...calling Jillian a man because she's good at sports. But she redeemed herself for almost all of this by questioning the virginal status of Kardashley's face.
	Jade – 75 +20 for a date rose +5 for crying +5 for kissing in a one-on-one setting +10 for plugging her modeling/organic makeup career +15 for having Chris comment on her attractiveness (he does really love him the word "stunning") +10 for being called the perfect person for the date she was on +10 for revealing the personal tragedy of her broken engagement Important Info: In the many Disney, cross-promotional dates we've seen over the years, I have never seen any one muster up as little enthusiasm for watching a children's movie as Jade did. Even Juan Pablo managed to seem impressed with The Lone Ranger viewing that got shoved down his throat on Des' season, and he could barely muster up enthusiasm for anything not immediately resulting in dancing and/or sex.
	Jillian – 35 Eliminated +5 for crying +10 for Chris commenting on her attractiveness Bonus: +10 for winning the obstacle course race +10 for a super vulgar, mildly offensive "Would you rather?" Strangely, nothing about Jillian gives me more faith that there are hundreds of guys out there that would love to have a shot with her. Important Info: The internet tells me that Jillian is apparently a Redskins cheerleaders. The fact that we heard, not a single word about this on the show, makes me love her all the more. For me, the saddest part of this whole episode was listening to her bemoan the fact that she wasn't really herself. I feel like Jillian was actually probably way more herself than many of the other girls. And she should not have to feel bad that her bawdy, hilarious self just wasn't compatible with Chris.
	Juelia – 20 Eliminated +5 for crying +15 for Chris commenting on her attractiveness Important Info: It's a sign of how weird and artificial the Bachelor world is that I feel tempted to congratulate Chris on sending Juelia home in spite of her tragic back story. The fact that the producers had Chris do a special post-game interview about sending her home also leads me to believe that they too were shocked and uncertain of how best to deal with Chris' lack of tragedy boner.
	Kaitlyn – 70 +20 for a date rose +10 for kissing in a group date setting +20 for intentional nudity +10 for moderate intoxication +10 for questioning whether Ashley S. was here for the right reasons, even if it was hilarious because she figured Ashley S. likely didn't know where "here" was. Important Info: Camping is her element. Killing zombies is her jam. Costco is the best date ever. Kaitlyn seems to be pretty happy everywhere. Far from a bad thing.
	Kelsey – 20 +5 for a rose Bonus: +15 for saying the swimming hole date was a date for bimbos. Important Info: I gotta say, I did not see Kelsey's villainy coming, but, given that I wrote down not even a single semi-positive thing that she said this week, it seems clear that this is where they're going. I'm not quite ready to jump of her bandwagon entirely, but I do need to say that, I've been to Michigan. They too have muddy lakes.
	Mackenzie – 10 +5 for a rose +5 crying (nicely because of Juelia leaving) Important Info: Someone's got to be nudging Mackenzie to continually bring up aliens and probing, right?  Right????
	Megan – 20 +5 for a rose +5 intoxication points Bonus: +10 for only being able to recall 3 out of the 5 senses.  Important Info: It speaks volumes about Megan's complete lack of game that one of the senses she managed to forget was touch.
	Nikki – 0 Eliminated
	Samantha – 5 +5 for a rose Important Info: Are we entirely sure that Samantha isn't the same person as Nikki? Have we ever actually heard her talk?

Whitney – 10 +5 for a rose Bonus: +5 for describing "muck" as "a cross between mud and smuck." Shortly followed by, "Is smuck a word?" Important Info: No, Whitney. No, it's not. But "muck" is.