Below, I give you the Staying Power (SP) rating for each of the men based on their performance in episode 1. I'll confess to actually watching the bios ABC helpfully posted on the website just because the first episode gave us so little to go on. I will also confess being ashamed about watching the bios - extra content is where I try to draw the line! For more detail on the hours of careful thought (read: metro ride) that went into Staying Power (SP = a*P(E+B) - L, see my earlier post.
Nick V. - SP: 90
Attraction (a): 5
I don't know quite what to do with Nick. On the one hand, Andi claimed to have felt an immediate connection and attraction to him, but on the other hand, "I'm usually not that attracted to..." generally doesn't mean, "Suddenly evolutionary biology has produced a plot twist." It's more, "I just had a terrible experience with someone attractive, and I'm trying something out." Remember when Angelina Jolie slummed it with Brad Pitt after things went South with Billy Bob Thornton?
Featured Scene Percentage (P): 6
Nick V. is the clear and away frontrunner for guy who gets way too into it way too fast. Now he just needs to decide what kind of tattoo will go best with polka dots.
Awkwardness of Entrance (E): 3
Background (B): 0
Likelihood of Having a Girlfriend Back Home (L): 0
Dylan - SP: 280
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| In the Bachelor-world, this pose is synonymous with deep thought and emotion. |
Why? Because Dylan is attractive. Just objectively. Also they had that whole cute flirtation, personal bubble thing. It worked.
Featured Scene Percentage (P): 4
Awkwardness of Entrance (E): 2
Background (B): 8
I don't know if anyone else watched the bio videos, but Dylan is about to take us all on a journey right to tragedy town. Not only has a really disconcerting percentage of his family passed away, but many of them have done so recently. In fact, my concern with Dylan is that it might be just a little too recent and that he was just a little too willing to share. Like the head injury guy from Des' season, Dylan desperately needs some nurturing care which, at least in our society, just isn't really in keeping with hanging out in a house with 25 men.
Likelihood of Having a Girlfriend Back Home (L): 0
Patrick - SP: 62
Attraction (a): 5
Obviously, Andi is less attracted to him than Andrew is.
Featured Scene Percentage (P): 3
Awkwardness of Entrance (E): 8
Because you know what makes for a meaningful entrance? Symbolism!
Background (B): 0
Likelihood of Having a Girlfriend Back Home (L): 2
Emil - SP: 0
Attraction (a): 0
Featured Scene Percentage (P): 0
Awkwardness of Entrance (E): 8
Poor, poor Emil. This was yet another case of not knowing his audience. I actually thought he seemed pretty handsome and charming and for a bit there, I think Andi might have too. But then he opened his mouth about the whole "anal" thing, and it was pretty much all downhill from there. I'm not saying it was a good line, and had he been, say, teaching some essential concept to 7th graders, I'm sure it would have been an effective and invaluable mnemonic, but it's probably not the best approach in the world to win a date with a sequin-clad daughter of the South.
Background (B): 0
Likelihood of Having a Girlfriend Back Home (L): 0
Brett - SP: 18
Attraction (a): 3
There's absolutely no doubt in my mind that Andi doesn't get Brett. She mentioned on her blog that when he handed her the lamp, he kept waiting for the punchline. But the punchline was the lamp. I personally find his quirkiness delightful and could probably even be persuaded to overlook what, it is increasingly clear, is a hipster mullet (the most pernicious of all mullets, the hipster mullet is known for wearing glasses without lenses and knowing about that band you like way before they got big), but I can't see him hanging in with Andi for more than a couple weeks
Featured Scene Percentage (P): 1
Awkwardness of Entrance (E): 5
I guess. If you're not the kind of person who sees the awesome humor in overly-literal translations of motherly advice.
Background (B): 1
We know he has a mother! Which, this year, is kind of big.
Likelihood of Having a Girlfriend Back Home (L): 0
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