Below, I give you the Staying Power (SP) rating for each of the men based on their performance in episode 1. I'll confess to actually watching the bios ABC helpfully posted on the website just because the first episode gave us so little to go on. I will also confess being ashamed about watching the bios - extra content is where I try to draw the line! For more detail on the hours of careful thought (read: metro ride) that went into Staying Power (SP = a*P(E+B) - L, see my earlier post.
Cody - SP: 40
Attraction (a): 1
This guy is 100% a producer plant. The only way he could be less of Andi's type is if he actually he spoke in heavily accented Spanish and told her it was "okay." The only consideration here is how many episodes she'll be forced to keep him before Chris Harrison gives her the nod to send him home.
Featured Scene Percentage (P): 4
I'm thinking it's going to be the Dave Good kind of drama where he mixes it up at a few cocktail parties, and gets to exchange maybe three words total with Andi.
Awkwardness of Entrance (E): 8
You gotta know your audience. Andi was equally as unimpressed by his show of strength as likely was aware of the fact that cars in neutral really aren't that hard to push. Now, if he had cut on the bottom, and was propelling it forward Fred Flinstone-style, I think we all would have agreed he should stay.
Background (B): 0
We know nothing about his background, but if history has taught us anything, I'm pretty sure we can predict his future. He'll get in a few great one-liners at the men tell all, will go on to participate on Bachelor Pad and someone how emerge victorious having said only four words the whole season. He'll earn the ire of the entire internet, but it won't serve to lessen his love of self-tanner, his propensity for soul patches, or prevent him from fulfilling his weeks-long dream of opening a bar in Arlington, VA. We've been down this road before, Cody. And it's gonna work out just swell.
Likelihood of Having a Girlfriend Back Home (L): 0
Steven - SP: 0
Attraction (a): 5
Of all the long-haired stoner--types that they confusingly introduced on this season (Perhaps a cutting commentary on mandatory minimums and the different standards that Andi, as a gang prosecutor is forced to uphold for different demographically-linked crimes? Yeah, that's probably it), Steven was the one with whom I thought there was some actual chemistry. I hope she's not planning to harken back to the the kiss 'em and cut 'em approach to the Bachelor as favored by Ben.
Featured Scene Percentage (P): 0
Awkwardness of Entrance (E): 0
Though perhaps, secretly, the decision was made the second he made fun of her habitual y'all.
Background (B): 0
Likelihood of Having a Girlfriend Back Home (L): 0
Rudy - SP: 0
Attraction (a): 0
Featured Scene Percentage (P): 0
Awkwardness of Entrance (E): 5
Poor Rudy. I actually thought his little homemade voluntary 4th waiver hit the sweet spot of putting yourself out there and charm, but I suppose if Andi wanted to date a lawyer, she could probably swing that without uprooting her whole life.
Background (B): 0
Likelihood of Having a Girlfriend Back Home (L): 0
Carl - SP: 50
Attraction (a): 5
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| I looked at a disconcerting number of these calendars, and apparently Canadians feel differently about fire imagery than we do here in the US... |
Carl is pretty much straight out of a FDFL Calendar. He also seems to have roughly the personality of a Mr. February print.
Featured Scene Percentage (P): 2
Awkwardness of Entrance (E): 2
Background (B): 3
We know that Carl knows how to find California on a globe. And that he kind of knows where Ft. Lauderdale is. He'll may in time prove me wrong with all kinds of harrowing tales of heroism, but as of right now, I'm guessing we now know roughly a third of what there is to know about Carl.
Likelihood of Having a Girlfriend Back Home (L): 1
Jason - SP: 0
Attraction (a): 0
Because apparently the only thing Andi finds less attractive than long hair is being in Limo Two.
Featured Scene Percentage (P): 0Awkwardness of Entrance (E): 10
We talked about this last time 'round with, Larry. Jason obviously reads my blog and benefited from my infinite wisdom as he at least managed to work in that he was a doctor, but seriously, just mentioning that fact is enough! I know the acting surgeon general probably has a lot of really important things to do, but if he could some how see fit to advise against the use of corny pick up lines unless they can be deployed with something approaching confidence, he would really spare us all a considerable amount of trouble.
Background (B): 0
Likelihood of Having a Girlfriend Back Home (L): 0
Because apparently he has "nothing to go back to" - except for, you know, the whole thing with saving lives.
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