Week 2, The Scores

More brain dumpage ahead! But this time, I've tagged it as important, so you'll know that I'm a liar!

	Andrew – 5 +5 for a rose
	Bradley – 15 Important Info: I don't know what it is about Bradley that makes me want to wipe his smug aria-singing grin off his smug opera-loving face (probably the same mechanism that leads me to write sentences that are such utter nonsense), but I don't like him! See, I told you it was going to be important! +5 for a rose +10 for plugging his career
	Brett – 10 Important Info: I seriously love Brett. The lamp in week one fed naturally into this week's sock puppet romp. I hope we someday get to hear him talk. +5 for a Rose Bonus: +5 for playing with sock puppets. Because seriously sock puppets! (Or more accurately, talentless, aspirationless socks transformed into stars!).
	Brian – 15 Important Info: I've already gone over my whole teacher-nudity schpiel (and for those of you who want more, my white paper on the subject will be out by the end of the month), but while I'm not exactly bothered by his promise of going to church, they better show some serious conversations about religion this year. There's just no way that's not kind of a big deal. +5 for a rose Bonus: +10 for taking the most predictable route to Andi's heart - nudity
	Carl – 0 Eliminated Important Info: No points for Carl on his way out the door, but all I can say is, on a season of limited eye candy, I would not have sent Carl packing looking like that in those glasses.
	Chris – 70 Important Info: I'm liking Chris and not just because midway through that date he was every bit as shiny as I'd be if I had to appear on National TV or make important decisions about who was going to Win, Place, and Show (or if I was forced to walk outside for 5 minutes...or if I ate some soup...I come from sweaty stock!). I doubt that he's going to go the distance though as Andi seemed to be contorting herself into a veritable back bend to cope with his rather aggressive kisses +15 for Andi commenting on his attractiveness +10 for revealing a personal tragedy +10 for being told he was perfect for his date +10 for being treated to a concert by a band I've never heard of +5 for kissing on a one-on-one +20 for a date rose
	Cody – 5 Important Info: There was a heated debate in the Robertson Division about whether Cody looked more like Mr. Incredible (of Pixar fame) or Sean Lowe. I personally think he's the spitting image of Brace. For those of you who somehow aren't Gigolos devotees: yes, that man is an aging male prostitute who's living out his very own version of Pretty Woman wherein Richard Gere = Reality TV.    +5 for a rose
	Craig – 50 Eliminated Important Info: At least he went down in a blaze of glory! To be hoenst, for me, the whole Craig thing was the most boring part of the episode. It just wasn't believable that getting massively drunk and stealing screen time wasn't exactly what he wanted. I will say that Andi, by virtue of not leaving him sobbing in a bathroom, is yet another leg up on her predecessor. +25 for extreme intoxication +5 for unintentional nudity Bonus: +10 for stuffing his g-string +10 for what certainly couldn't be considered a plug for his singing career, but was kind of adorable regardless
	Dylan – 25 Important Info: Boston Townie and greasy hockey hair is basically a summary of 75% of my dating history, so obviously Dylan is doing it for me. Chris Harrison tried to hide it, but Dylan's doing it for him as well.  +5 for a rose Bonus: +15 for giving Chris Harrison a lap dance +5 for earning a very special Chris Harrison spank
	Eric – 40 Important Info: Sigh. Their level of conversation was certainly a step up from that which we're usually treated to on The Bachelorette. +10 for having Andi comment on his attractiveness +10 for being called the perfect person for that particular date +20 for a date rose
	J.J. – 15 +10 for being pissed about not getting a one-on-one date +5 for a rose
	Josh – 35 Important Info: Well, thank god the show broke through some important barriers this week! I'm sure athletes around the world rejoiced to find that someone is finally tackling the hot button issue of sports figure stereotyping! While Josh's dithering and blushing really was rather charming, if I were Andi, I'd be making a black mark next to anyone who seemed so familiar and so comfortable with the ins and outs of lap dancing. +10 kissing in a group date setting +5 for a rose Bonus: +10 for giving Andi a lap dance +10 for complaining about the plight of the talented and muscular man!
	Marcus – 30 Important Info: Is it me or is Marcus way hairier than the standard Bachelorette contestant? That's gotta be his European side because, if memory serves, those Texas boys really know how to wax! Secondly, the following leads me to believe that Marcus really might be perfect for Andi: "Nervous, anxious - all these different emotions are going through my head." Either someone needs to get that boy a set emotions refrigerator magnets or he's been borrowing Andi's dictionary to define the word "all." +10 for Andi commenting on his attractiveness +20 for a date rose
	Marquel – 5 Important Info: I'm also kinda feeling Marquel. He's got some grade A cocky flirting game and his ability to mix patterns is the makings of the choreographed dream sequence in the musical biopic: Tim Gunn: I Just Gotta be Me! +5 for a rose
	Nick S. - 5 Eliminated Important Info: Jason on Nick S.'s post-exit robot interview; "If this were the whole show, I'd watch it." +5 for unintentional nudity
	Nick V. – 10 Important Info: I don't get it, but I am hopeful that Nick V. has the slightly doughy, incredibly pasty body his face suggests because that would bring some real diversity to this season. His conversation with Andi this week left me wondering if the reason this show keeps failing to produce everlasting love is because they recruit people looking for a magical, mystical "connection" rather than someone who actually knows what they want.  +5 for a rose Bonus: +5 for planning a mini-date complete with date card...I guess...through my cringing...
	Patrick – 5 Important Info: What do we think Andrew would say about Patrick's regrettable barbed wire tattoo? does he lose his claim to being a cut above the rest? +5 for a rose
	Ron – 5 Important Info: I have to say, I missed how attractive Ron was until this week, but the show's blatant tokenism probably means he'll play perpetual second fiddle to Marquel.  +5 for a rose

Tasos – 15 Important Info: Tasos this week: "The card said 'bare your soul' like 'bare naked....'" Also like the correct grammatical usage of the word "bare." You know, just FYI. +5 for a rose Bonus: +10 for demonstrating that a lack of understanding of homophones isn't holding him back from a perfect understanding of Bachelor producers love of a good pun.