Monday, February 17, 2014

Week 6, The Scores



Andi
Andi – 50
+5 for kissing on a one-on-one
+15 for Juan Pablo commenting on her attractiveness
+20 for a date rose
+10 for making her date into a metaphor
Non-Bonus: I award her nothing but frankly, my very grave disappointment that she failed to make the appropriate heavily innuendo-laden geyser metaphor. The twelve year old boy in each of us is shaking his head sadly in her general direction.

Cassandra
Cassandra – 95
Eliminated
+10 for complaining about not getting a one-on-one
+5 for crying
+15 for referencing her connection
+15 for Juan Pablo commenting on her attractiveness (+5 bonus because he did it while dumping her)
Bonus: +30 for getting sent home early, you know, out of respect.
+15 for enduring the intense condescension of being told that "she's grown here" and that Juan Pablo was just so happy to be a part of it. She is an American hero.

Chelsie
Chelsie – 20
+5 for a rose
Non-Bonus: +15 for saying "that leaves Kat to go home and that's a good feeling"...I don't think she meant it like that, but still...


Clare
Clare – 60
+10 for complaining about not getting the first one-on-one
+5 for kissing on a one-on-one
+20 for a date rose
+15 for Juan Pablo commenting on her attractiveness
Bonus: +10 for becoming suddenly cagey and pretending that her overtly sexual metaphors of the previous week were really just about swimming. The ocean is fun, but pure bliss...?  Come on, Clare.


Kat
Kat – 40
Eliminated
+10 for revealing a personal tragedy (Bonus x 3 for doing it in the most deliberate attempt to manipulate herself into a rose that I have ever seen
+5 for crying
Bonus: +5 for mentioning that she's been journaling (though, clearly, she let us all down there by not reading it)

Nikki
Nikki – 45
+10 for kissing on a group date
+5 for a rose
+15 for referencing her connection with Juan Pablo
+15 for Juan Pablo commenting on her attractiveness...at least that's what I assume Juan Pablo was saying with "Nikki: Watch Out," rather than an overt threat of murder


Renee
Renee – 40
+5 for a rose
+10 for kissing in a group setting
+15 for Juan Pablo commenting on her attractiveness
Bonus: +10 for also enduring Juan Pablo's condescension and graciously accepting the moniker of one of the "special ones"
Non-Bonus Aside: Two points here.  First, Juan Pablo said that there's nothing sexier that listening to a woman talk about her kid, so....do we think he screws his ex a lot?
And second and totally unrelated: Renee's got to be the odds on favorite to be the next Bachelorette, right?

Sharleen
Sharleen – 45
GOOD LORD SHARLEEN, JUST LEAVE ALREADY!
+10 for kissing in a group setting
+20 for a date rose
+5 for crying
Bonus: +10 for threatening to leave, you know, maybe next week...after all the traveling is over...

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