Though probably every woman who goes on the Bachelor secretly believes she's going to win and live a life defined by six months of infamy and the world's least romantic engagement, those that don't should at least expect to console themselves with luxurious clothing purchased for them in a "reformed prostitute" style date, memories of no less than $25,000 worth of fireworks exploded in their honor, or a slight itchy feeling that probably originated in some hot tub. But the women of this season have been pranked, reminded of childhood traumas, made to play dress up, and generally disappointed (which, if Sean's faith holds fast, is a trend that will likely continue through fantasy suite week), and things certainly weren't looking up this week.
The Bathroom Break Date
Also known as "The Longest Screen Kiss Ever" Date, this date gave me all kinds of opportunities to file my nails, make an important telephone call to dentist, and do some light core work (by which I mean make and eat a sandwich). While I'm sure the experience was much more pleasant for Lesley than it was for the television audience, there's no denying that this date was awkward. And I can't help thinking that she must have spent at least half of that kiss wishing someone had warned her to wear a longer dress.
Pretending that I haven't happened upon any spoilers for a moment, Lesley M. better be the future Lesley L. because no woman wants to marry a man who holds a kissing record with some other girl.
The Beach Volleyball Date
Apparently the producers also noticed the dearth of crying in last week's episode because a competition group date in which half of the women go home is a surefire way to make it rain (tears, not dollar bills - though I imagine a gathering of Bachelor castoffs isn't a bad way to get some stripping going either). It seems like a production company organized enough to provide the ladies with semi-matching bathing suits could have given Chris Harrison a heads up that he'd be going to the beach, but otherwise the date wrought just enough drama and devastation to keep it interesting. I'd sum it up, but I think Taryn already did that more than admirably.
Taryn: This volleyball game is the most important game of my life. It's probably one of the only few [games] played that has something big riding on it.
She may have been sent packing, but Sean lost a real insightful one. Taryn, when you're right, you're right!
The Amusement Park Date
Can I mock a date that involves a day of fun and friendship for a couple of really nice teens with chronic illnesses? I cannot. But I can say that a willingness to participate in public service does not necessarily make one a good person. While AshLee seemed legitimately sweet with the girls, it must be said that the greater act of charity would have been kindness toward the bitchy girl who took a tumble down the stairs, and that was an occasion to which AshLee certainly didn't see fit to rise.
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