Episode 1: The Guy

When Sean was announced as the next Bachelor, i was pretty convinced that he would be the most boring Bachelor ever. After being horribly wrong about both Emily and Ben (though in opposite directions), there's still ample hope that he won't live down to my expectations. But it does seem like the quality that got him kicked off Emily's season ("being too perfect," not "not having enough money") might make for a less than thrilling ride. Even ABC seemed to be hedging their bets in Monday's episode bringing on Arie - a man who would have been more than happy to stay in the limelight as the Bachelor - so that they didn't have to spend a full 30 minutes on Sean building buildings, creepily crashing random beach weddings, and playing with adorable kids.

For some reason, I still have residual Arie hatred, but the segment with him might have been kind of delightful if they hadn't insisted on pretending that he and Sean were such good friends. The one thing I definitely didn't need was a reminder of Arie's creepy kissing. Who are these women of America who think he's so amazing? Have you ever watched anyone makeout on the Bachelor and thought "Damn, that guy can kiss!"? And have two grown men or really anyone over the age of fourteen ever sat around sharing kissing techniques?

Once the women arrived, it was hard to actually get a handle on Sean. With all of the first impression rose drama, it seems they gave us very little time to eavesdrop on his conversations, and maybe that's for the best. After episode one, we walk away with a few brilliant oneliners ("I brought my rape whistle." "I can't say it's not you, it's me because it's obviously going to be them.") and hopefully a house full of enough crazy women to render the question of Sean's boringness uninteresting in and of itself.