If you’re like me and you feel like we’re already halfway
through the season of the Bachelorette
even though we’ve only seen four episodes (how is that possible? What with all
the personal angst, drama and lack of any major eye candy to drool over, it
feels like it’s dragged on forever), imagine how Andi feels. Oh wait, we already know – she told us she’s ‘exhausted’
in the last episode.
To get us all through to the end, I think we need a mood booster – yes, a mood booster, courtesy of Bachelorette alumni, Jen Scheftt. How, you ask? Well, I was the lucky recipient of Jen’s book, Better Single Than Sorry (c. 2007) for my birthday this year from our fine commissioner, Megan. Such a gift could not have been bestowed on a more enthusiastic recipient!
Among the 20 chapters (plus Five Parts, plus Epilogue) of advice Jen offers are interstitial “Mood Boosters” to help ‘keep a pep in your step’ (as Patti Stranger would say) during the dating game of life. It sounds like Andi has reached the point where she’s starting to question some of the guys’ motives and examine them all more closely (or, at least, more closely with her tongue). I’m all for purging when needed and separating the wheat from the chaff, and so is Jen. In fact, Andi could look to Jen’s “Funny Reasons Women Have Been Turned Off by a Man” (p. 157) for reasons to axe more of the guys, because why should she settle for less? These include:
To get us all through to the end, I think we need a mood booster – yes, a mood booster, courtesy of Bachelorette alumni, Jen Scheftt. How, you ask? Well, I was the lucky recipient of Jen’s book, Better Single Than Sorry (c. 2007) for my birthday this year from our fine commissioner, Megan. Such a gift could not have been bestowed on a more enthusiastic recipient!
Among the 20 chapters (plus Five Parts, plus Epilogue) of advice Jen offers are interstitial “Mood Boosters” to help ‘keep a pep in your step’ (as Patti Stranger would say) during the dating game of life. It sounds like Andi has reached the point where she’s starting to question some of the guys’ motives and examine them all more closely (or, at least, more closely with her tongue). I’m all for purging when needed and separating the wheat from the chaff, and so is Jen. In fact, Andi could look to Jen’s “Funny Reasons Women Have Been Turned Off by a Man” (p. 157) for reasons to axe more of the guys, because why should she settle for less? These include:
“He left voice mails in different accents.”
“He signed every email with ‘Peace in the Middle East.’”
“He had way too much cover up on a pimple.”
“He wore a blousy leather jacket with an elastic waistband.”
“We went to see Star Trek: The Next Generation, and he pumped his fists in the air in excitement when the Starship Enterprise went across the screen.” (Note: Oh come on. I would be the same way about Darth Vader in a Star Wars movie.)
“His hair smelled like bad cheese.”
“He spoke these words: 'My biggest passion in life is being a thespian'."
“He wore high-tops.” (Note: Depending on how you wear these, I don't necessarily consider this a deal breaker. For instance, Alexander Skarsgard can wear high tops any time he damn well wants to. He can wear an electric blue wig, hula skirt and sparkly purple pasties for all I care, and I would still want to get me some of that. Alex – call me).
Andi, if any of these guys start taking you to Trekkie conventions, speaking with Klingon accents, wearing blousy leather jackets and using cheese in their daily hair routines, you know what to do. But leave Alexander Skarsgard (in all his high-topped glory) to ME.
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