Week 5, The Scores

	Andrew – 20 Eliminated Important Info: Say what you want about Andrew, but he definitely did get bullied. Now, I'm not saying there wasn't a fair amount of karma involved... +10 for complaining about not getting a 1-on-1 Bonus: +10 for casually bragging about spending time in San Tropez and Monaco.
	Brian – 35 Important Info: There's so much to like about Brian and, in a normal setting he'd totally be the guy I'd want to set up with my sister or that really nice girl from work who's always bringing in baked goods and complimenting strangers on their outfits. But let's face it, competitive dating is clearly not a setting in which he is primed to thrive. As glad as I am that Andi decided to let him stay, it does make it just a little bit harder to believe in the "process' when the Bachelorette refuses to send anyone home after a one-on-one date. +10 for Andi saying he is the perfect person for his particular date (and +0 for the extent to which she rapidly regretted saying it) +5 for kissing on a date +20 for a date rose
	Chris – 35 Important Info: Andi claimed she didn't want to participate in the drama, but she felt like she had to after a date that was all about communication. Assuming for a moment that the crux of her logic isn't terribly flawed, I'm pretty sure miming is about 1) The French further attempting to alienate the rest of the world, 2) Providing fodder for Saturday morning cartoon shows (and speaking of which, remember when we were in junior high/high school and Looney Tunes experienced a sudden resurgence in fame and popularity? There was a WB story and entire lines of sports apparel emblazoned with their image. I'm sure there have been detailed economic studies of this incomparable phenomenon, but as the Lebron vs. Jordan debate rages on for the next twenty odd years, it's important not to discount the role Space Jam undoubtedly played in the revival of those plucky, speech impediment-riddled cartoon characters. Lebron might be a better perimeter shooter but Michael Jordan was a job creator); and 3) Terrifying small children. It is not about communication. That being said, she certainly used it - alongside implied promises of their future marriage - as an excuse to browbeat Chris into tattling on Nick. Remember this when Chris gets sent home - no good can come of tattling on the frontrunner. +30 for tattling, despite the fact that he was obviously forced by Andi's manipulations. I hope he saw that as the chilling glimpse into the future that it undoubtedly is. +5 for a rose
	Cody – 40 Important Info: Though my first impressions of Cody were that he was a juiced up Nick 2.0, he actually does seem kind of sweet. And at this point, Andi is kind of doing him a disservice by keeping him there. He is so far up in the friend zone that the Girl Scouts wrote a song about him and yet Andi keeps him around because he is nice and he is safe. Either that or the producers are planning to use him to tear Nick limb from limb, in which case, please, carry on. +30 for tattling +5 for a rose Bonus: +5 for saying, "Mime on my money and my money on my mime." Somebody had to say it.
	Dylan – 5 Important Info: Oh Dylan. When Dylan is gone, I shall choose to remember him as saying mimes "use their hands and do activities." I don't think I've ever loved Dylan as much as I did just then.  +5 for a rose
	J.J. – 45 Important Info: J.J. is the serpent in the Garden of Eden (a Garden of Eden where, obviously, innocence does not reign). There has seriously been very little drama this year that didn't have him whispering in the background, pulling the manlier strings of suitors like Josh and and Marquel. I know a lot of you are J.J. fans, but I challenge any of you to prove he hasn't stitched some sort of fuzzy, day-glo mind control device into the lining of the other gentlemen's pants. +10 for kissing in a group setting +20 for a date rose +15 for tattling on Andrew...we've been down this road before...
	Josh – 85 Important Info: I'm not saying Josh M. sucks because he was a second round pick out of 54 rounds. Probably because no one has ever said that about anyone ever. It's not a thing. But between the way he forced that into the conversation so unnaturally and his highly suspect assurance that he could go back to playing if he wanted to, does anyone else feel like Bruce Springsteen needs to write a song about this guy immediately? +10 for referencing his connection with Andi +15 for Andi commenting on his attractiveness +10 for revealing a personal tragedy of his girlfriend cheating on him +15 for repeating plugging his currently non-existent sports career +10 for being treated to a concert by a band I've never heard of (though for a split second I thought they said Ben Folds and was ready to be super shocked) +5 for kissing in a date setting +20 for a date rose
	Marcus – 15 Important Info: I was already not entirely on board with the whole Marcus thing, but the fact that he's now decided to replace anything even approaching meaningful conversation with repeated confessions of his over-eager love has left me anxiously awaiting his depature. And not the kind of anxious that he was pathetically trying to mime - pretty sure that effort translated better into "eating a sandwich." +10 for kissing in a group date setting +5 for a rose
	Marquel – 25 Eliminated Important Info: I'm not the only one who thinks Marquel has a shot at being the next Bachelor. Marquel thinks so too. his exit interview was basically a tearful audition tape. But I wouldn't be too upset if his claim that he was a believer in love again catapulted him into the poorly-received shoes of Il Bachelore that came before him. +10 for crying twice Bonus: +15 for dealing with the whole Andrew situation is the classiest way possible...you know, minus that time when he decided to come on this show
	Nick V. – 25 Important Info: A poem by Nick: Are you upset with me? I hope not. But if so, you'll see I keep this poem in my pocket Because it's cheaper than a locket. I use it in cases of emergency That must be handled with some urgency So while it may seem I'm trying to distract you, I swear I'm just trying to attract you. I love you baby - you're my world.* * Optional - not to be used before Week 6 +10 for kissing in a group setting +5 for a rose Bonus: +10 for whipping out a poem - I thought I was on board for anything that preventing Andi from continuing to call him "salty." I was incorrect.
	Patrick – 15 Eliminated Important Info: Patrick was hilarious in this episode and now it seems he is gone from us too soon. You're right, Patrick. Gentlemen aren't arrogant. And your mother does think you'll make some girl a very special husband some day.  Bonus: +10 for saying that multiple people think that he has qualities paramount to being a husband +5 for stressing that is was not just girls as if that somehow...lended validity.