Below, I give you the Staying Power (SP) rating for each of the men based on their performance in episode 1. I would definitely use this metric to guide your draft (or almost anything else). For more detail on the hours of careful thought (read: metro ride) that went into Staying Power (SP = a*P(E+B) - L, see my earlier post.
Drew - SP: 504
Attraction (a): 7
Drew was the first to receive Desiree's (hopefully not) patented mmm mmm mmm seal of approval. This would have been higher, but he was also the first guy out of the limo so the mildly lewd noise might have been in appreciation of the fact that limos full of hot guys were about to empty into her sparkly lap rather than about Drew's attractiveness in particular.
Featured Scene Percentage (P): 9
Awkwardness of Entrance (E): 0
Nice and normal. Does he not understand how this game is played!
Background (B): 8
I have already forgotten what Drew's particular personal tragedy was, but I know there was one! How do I know? Because in my notes, I just wrote down "Saddest looking at pictures ever" by his name.
Likelihood of Having a Girlfriend Back Home (L): 0
Let's face it. I don't watch this show because I believe in this process or because I want to watch a hapless 24-year old Katie Holmes look alike finally (finally!) find love. I watch it because I'm an incorrigible cynic whose driven by a quest for schadenfreude and earnestness to mock. But every season there's a few romantic moments and a few sincere people who, I admit it, I just kind of fall for. And Drew's "When do the butterflies go away?" moment was just kinda sweet. Try not to laugh too hard at me when his girlfriend comes on the show next week and reveals that he also dropped the "I kind of don't want them to line on her during their first date.
Brooks - SP: 500
Attraction (a): 5
To be henceforth considered the score for guys that we didn't really get anything on. She's probably not unattracted to him (disattracted? counterattracted?), but she didn't give him the kind of seal of approval that would have us all crying wolf if she was a guy (a wolf whistle perhaps?), so he remains in the average and uninteresting middle
Featured Scene Percentage (P): 20
Okay, yes. I cheated here. But Brooks is in A LOT of the "coming up" scenes...and not the angry "coming up" scenes. The lovey ones.
Awkwardness of Entrance (E): 5Brooks' entrance was awkward, but in a very human, very nervous, very possible that he might be Canadian sort of way. Sure, he forgot to tell Desiree his name and did very little to distinguish himself outside of not having short, light brown hair, but I didn't have to hide behind the nearest household item to get through his moment in the sun.
Background (B): 0
Likelihood of Having a Girlfriend Back Home (L): 0
Brooks isn't necessarily my front runner for guy who's desperate and emotional to the point of being creepy, but he definitely makes the top five. He was waaaaay too anxious about being sent home after his very minimal night 1 conversation with Des.
Brad - SP: 7
Attraction (a): 3
Brad earned himself a "very handsome" from Desiree and given her more visceral response to the other gentlemen of whom she thought of fondly, I'm guessing this is not a great sign.
Featured Scene Percentage (P): 1
Awkwardness of Entrance (E): 3
By all traditional metrics, Brad nailed his entrance. He had a cute little gimmick that didn't lead to the gritting of anyone's teeth. He played off of her whole fountain wish thing but put his own spin on it with the wish bone. But he clearly didn't really think of an exit strategy. After Desiree won herself the lion's share of the bone, there was this kind of awkward silence while he stood there trying to think of something to say, and not even the right kind of awkwardness with which he might have been rewarded if he had come pre-loaded with some sort of terrible pun. (Something about wishing rather than something about bones. Desiree isn't that kind of girl!)
Background (B): 0
Likelihood of Having a Girlfriend Back Home (L): 2
I've decided this is just the average likelihood of anyone who's on The Bachelorette having a girlfriend back home. The historical statistics might not bear me out on this.
Bryden - SP: 400
Attraction (a): 8
Between getting a first impression rose and from the highly scientific evidence that it just sorta seemed like Desiree was liking his vibe, I feel like the attraction was definitely there.
Featured Scene Percentage (P): 5
Awkwardness of Entrance (E): 0
Bryden's entrance actually wasn't awkward at all. It was normal and nice. Plus he hit on, what I suspect has been Desiree's mantra for the past couple of months: "Sean made a huge mistake."
Background (B): 10
Full marks to Bryden for coming up with a potentially tragic background to pique our interest (by which I, of course, mean serving honorably and admirably to defend our nation in the Iraq War), while still saving kernels to disperse to earn himself a weekly "thank you for telling me" rose. And as if that wasn't enough, he tossed in a casual reference to changing the life of a kid. He might be as good at this show as he seems to be at life.
Likelihood of Having a Girlfriend Back Home (L): 0
I know I just said that I saw two as the baseline average, but come on. He changed the life of an Iraqi kid! People who care about adorable foreign children, who care about serving their country can't possibly be getting something on the side, right?
Michael G. - SP: 430
Attraction (a): 6
Michael also earned himself a first impression rose but had far too limited screen time for us to really judge what was behind it.
Featured Scene Percentage (P): 9
Awkwardness of Entrance (E): 8
Michael may not have aspired to Desiree's particular sweet spot of awkwardness, but I really think he hit it. The looking for the coins in the fountain bit was adorable, but when he couldn't find them he kept looking for way too long (and he clearly should have known that some intern sold those pennies on ebay for ramen noodles months ago) and let his panic show just a little bit more than it should have. That being said, I could totally see them reliving his sodden scramble to retrieve this missing penny the night before she accepts the proposal from some other guy.
Background (B): 0
Likelihood of Having a Girlfriend Back Home (L): 2
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