Week 5, The Scores

	Amanda – 100 +20 for a date rose +10 (5 x 2) for date kissing in a hot air balloon + 5 for misuse of the word "literally" (unless I'm wrong and she needs to immediately see a doctor about her inability to stop smiling) +15 for Ben commenting on her attractiveness +30 for tattling on Olivia +10 for revealing a personal tragedy Bonus: +10 for using the fact that she was an unwed 22-year old as her defense against Olivia's accusation of being a "teen mom." Important Info: It's lucky for Amanda that she wakes up looking as put together and perky as she spends the majority of her day, but...it still doesn't answer my question as to why Ben considers asleep at the indecent hour of 5 am to be these girls' "natural state."
	Becca - 10 +10 for kissing on a group date Important Info: I love how Becca's single season on the show has made her into some sort of sage and all-knowing expert, clarifying for the other girls that she's "never before seen a rose get taken away, but Ben's not playing by the rules." Although, I suppose it's possible that at the ripe old age of 26, Becca is one of very few women who are actually old enough to have seen all of the seasons of this show.
	Caila – 10 +10 for kissing on a group date Important Info: I really don't have much of anything to say about Caila this week. I guess it's...too bad...?...that we didn't get more time to see her predatory nature in attacking Ben's face....?
	Emily– 60 +5 for crying +5 for misuse of the word literally +30 for tattling on Olivia Bonus: +10 for expressing the truly questionable belief that telling Ben about Olivia would make their relationship stronger +10 for saying this show makes you dig deep and really find out who you are... Important Info: ...And who Emily is is apparently someone who's not so great. Look, Olivia's fairly terrible. There's no denying that. But unless the producers have been slipping them some footage, there's no real reason why Emily should know that. Emily tattled on Olivia because Emily is jealous. It was petty and it was childish and it was largely baseless. The other girls may feel like Olivia is being manipulative when she says insensitive things and then promises to try harder not to do anything wrong, but I far prefer manipulation born from lunacy than that that stems from sheer hypocrisy.
	Jennifer – 10 Bonus: +10 for saying that Jubilee's Spanish interaction with Ben was "not romantic." Was it really supposed to be romantic given that it happened in front of 8 other girls? Important Info: And speaking of romance in a crowd, according to Jennifer, once she "commits to someone, they have [her] heart and soul forever." Sounds nice, but, I'm just saying, Ben may want to look into just how many other men to whom she's already managed to commit.
	Jo Jo – 25 +10 for kissing in a group setting Bonus: +5 for the childish nonsense about her taco. I can't decide if I would respect her less if the comments were completely innocent or if she knew exactly what she was saying +10 for stealing Ben away in the middle of his speech about Jubilee Important Info: So...Jo Jo seems to be a sincerely nice person, but...are we sure she's not sort of an idiot? First there was her comment about how she was "sure that Jubilee was saying this was the most amazing experience of her life" (which, in a rare miss for the producers, somehow wasn't juxtaposed with a sobbing Jubilee commenting on her own unloveableness). And then they got her telling Ben he only had "10 more breakups to go" before he never had to do it again in his life. Again, lovely sentiment, but....maybe you want to try recounting?
	Jubilee – 105 Eliminated +100 for getting kicked off outside of game play +5 for crying Important Info: Poor Jubilee. I would probably refuse to hold a guy's hand too if he repeatedly called ten other girls beautiful or attractive or amazing and saddled me with "intriguing."
	Lauren B. – 10 +10 for kissing in a group date setting Important Info: Given that we're fast approaching the point in the season where I have to take mid-episode naps lest I get too bored to watch...we can all just agree that Lauren is going to be the winner and go home, right?
	Lauren H. – 70 +20 for a date rose +5 for kissing on a one-on-one +15 for Ben commenting on her attractiveness +10 for revealing a personal tragedy +5 for crying Bonus: +10 for being the first contestant in Bachelor history to discuss a common need for retainers +5 for saying the date was the "best day of her entire life." Seriously, ladies. Have better days! Important Info: Kind of surprisingly, at the end of the date, Lauren H. went down the Jubilee path of saying that Ben might be the only person she's ever met who truly "got her." It's a good thing the target demographic for this show is primarily female because it worries me a little what message this show might be sending to men. Apparently all women need to feel "understood" is a guy who politely nods and introduces nothing of substance to the conversation. And I'm just not totally sure that's the image that all womankind wants to present.
	Leah – 0 Important Info: I hate cliffhangers on this show. They are so very unnecessary. Not only do we have a sense of what is coming next from their near constant "coming up" montages, but...does anyone really think there's any chance Olivia gets sent home in the place of possible selective mute, Leah? Anyone?
	Olivia – 60 +20 for a date rose +10 for kissing in a group date setting +5 for crying +10 for giving Ben a gift Bonus: +10 for making a teen mom comment about Amanda +5 for immediately and clumsily trying to walk it back Important Info: The worst part about the stupid post-show show is that through their judgmental debriefing (usually an activity that I would support), they have made it abundantly clear that Olivia isn't going to wind up taking the final rose or Ben's heart. And what fun is a villain if she doesn't stand any real chance to win? For the record, the second worst part is that in all their discussion about Olivia being evil, they haven't even covered the most terrifying thing. Apparently she tastes with her stomach. No wonder she keeps trying to steal extra time to inhale Ben's face!