Finals, The Scores

All I can say is...there were 10,000 points available for bringing a chicken. You all missed out!

The final scores are:

Eastlake - 245 Becca - 55 Emily -  30 Jubilee - 100 Lauren H. - 25 Leah - 35

Brandon - 270            Amanda - 35                       Amber - 10                 Caila - 40                   Lace - 95                     Olivia - 90

Congrats to Brandon, this year's winner and first ever back-to-back league champion. Like the New England Patriots, the Chicago Blackhawks, and Alexis Colby Carrington, we have a dynasty, folks!

	Amanda – 35 +10 for earning audience applause +5 for being featured in a blooper Bonus: +20 for thanking Ben for feeling bad about dumping her Important Info: I get that Ben is the greatest Bachelor ever and his face is now forever emblazoned on the 100 Harrisito piece (the currency in paradise, for those of you not familiar. Primarily used for tipping Jorge, the bartender. Leading economists value the Harrisito at 0.347 US Weekly headlines), but Amanda's praise of him was part of a larger disturbing theme of women thanking Ben for breaking their hearts and us, ostensibly swooning over it. Remember when Ben Flajnik gave Ashley a piece of his mind for dumping him, and we all celebrated him for it/anointed him the new worst ever Bachelor (of the pre-Juan Pablo era, obviously)? I miss that us.
	Amber – 10 +5 for earning audience applause +5 for being featured in a blooper Important Info: So...maybe it happened off camera, but...I think it's more likely that ABC just opted not to show us Jubilee, Amber, and Jami's conversation about race. Obviously, it's a touchy subject under any circumstance and ABC has a much longer history of ignoring it than of treating it with delicacy and thoughtfulness. Since we didn't get to see it, it's hard to have too many thoughts on the particular incident in question, but I will say two things: 1) I do think it matters if Jubilee said that she was the only "full" black girl vs. if she said she was the only "real" black girl. 2) I don't think anyone was tremendously confused when Jami confronted Jubilee and kept making vague references to another person. But nonetheless, when Amber deadpanned "She's talking about me. I'm the other mixed person" was very well played.
	Becca - 55 +10 for audience applause +30 for being featured in all the bloopers Bonus: +15 for calling Ben Chris. Apologies to all of you who had Becca during the regular season that this was never aired. Important Info: Watching the bloopers made me wonder if Becca isn't a robot so much as she is very uncomfortable around men. When she was around the women, she actually seemed normal and fun and capable of  veritable panoply of human emotion which were not the sort of things I believed her programming to support when she was around Ben or Chris!
	Caila – 40 +10 for audience applause +15 for being featured in bloopers +15 for confessing feelings at Chris Harrison's behest (or really having Chris Harrison confess her feelings on her behalf) Important Info: It's really no wonder than Ben "appreciates" Caila given that she is so seamlessly able to lie about how "good" it was to see Ben's relationships with Lauren B. in Jo Jo. Unless she mean it in a "because carving voodoo dolls of them while I watched you confess your love was cathartic" sort of way.
	Emily– 30 +5 for audience applause +10 for bloopers Bonus: +15 for still being treated like half a person when Ben was asked if he could differentiate between her and Haley. They made out a lot. She met his parents. She shared her hopes and dreams (although in fairness, they are Haley's hopes and dreams as well..) Important Info: Emily said it was "beyond the point" that she bullied Olivia back. I think we can all agree the main point is that Emily should not be allowed to decide what the point is.
	Jubilee – 100 +20 for audience applause +10 for crying +15 for audience boos +20 for shocked whispers of disbelief +15 for confessing feelings at Chris Harrison's behest +20 for being featured in bloopers Important Info: Dear Chris Harrison,    When trying to make a woman feel worthwhile, saying "A guy like Ben saw you and got you" maybe isn't the best approach. Especially when the subtext is "and then dumped you" rather than "and if a simpleton like him could puzzle you out, you must not be that complex."    Love, Womankind
	Lace – 95 +15 for audience applause +20 for shocked whispers of disbelief +15 for admitting feelings at Chris Harrison's behest +10 for saying the experience changed her Bonus: +10 for accepting an invitation to Bachelor in Paradise +30 for being accosted by a random audience member who had a tattoo of her face on his rib cage. Important Info: Despite all of Lace's talk about personal growth and self-actualization, you have to be pretty skeptical that she's improved that much if she agreed to give this another go 'round. But while Paradise is going to be terrible for Lace, Lace will be amazing for paradise. She is a perfect blend of self-aware and completely unfiltered, as evidenced by the fact that she told Chris Harrison that the thing she'd most want to change were some of her facial expressions. There's no question that Lace is going to fill the shoes of allstars before her like Claire and Ashley S. The only real question is what sort of animal they will edit into her scenes to make her seem even nuttier.
	Lauren H. – 25 +5 for audience applause +5 for being featured in a blooper Bonus: +15 for saying they would all sacrifice themselves for one happy relationship Important Info: Which I think was a particularly apt demonstration of the skills she can bring to her next job interview. Who doesn't want a kindergarten teacher with such a glorious track record of sharing.
	Leah – 35 +5 for (admittedly very weak) audience applause +15 for audience boos Bonus: +15 for saying she didn't intentionally lie. I'm guessing what she meant was "I intentionally lied whilst believing that I would not get caught." Yes, that's right. Leah said whilst! Important Info: As bizarre as Leah's departure initially seemed, with the wisdom of a few extra weeks, I think we can all agree she just wanted to secure her place in Paradise, right?
	Olivia – 90 +15 for audience applause +40 for shocked whispers of disbelief +10 for crying +10 for saying the experience taught her so much about herself +5 for being featured in a blooper Bonus: +10 for apologizing to Amanda as well as all mothers everywhere. Ordinarily, apologizing would earn anti-points, but talking over Amanda's attempt to accept her apology just shows she's ready to get back behind a news desk. Important Info: I believe Olivia when she says she was bullied. So I will resist the urge to make fun of her classy, redemptive and utterly boring performance on a show that's not built for talking those kinds of smart thing.