The Playoffs, Scores

Laura: 130

Victoria – 20 Eliminated +5 for being featured in a Blooper Bonus: +15 for telling Juan Pablo to stop using English being his second language as a crutch

Lucy – 20 +5 for being featured in a Blooper +5 for earning audience applause Bonus: +10 for jumping on Chris Harrison at the end

Kelly – 30 +5 for crying  +5 for being featured in a Blooper Bonus: +20 for calling Juan Pablo out on his homophobia. Sure, it was probably sanctioned if not fully commissioned by ABC, but still. Kudos for not pretending it never happened.

Andi – 45 +5 for earning audience applause +10 for being featured in two Bloopers +15 for allowing Chris Harrison to pretty much force her to say she was maybe, sort of feeling like she could potentially some day fall in love with Juan Pablo even though we all know that is, in NO way, the case. Bonus: +10 for not blaming Clare at all for the ocean debacle. On any other season, there is no way that the girls would have been on her side +5 for saying she pretended to sleep +10 for saying the thing she liked about Juan Pablo was that he was attractive. We know, Andi. We know.  Non-Bonus Aside: Throughout the season, Andi and Juan Pablo definitely had the most playful vibe and...was it just me or were they still totally flirting with that whole "eet's okay" thing There's no way she's not the next Bachelorette, right?  Chris Harrison doesn't ask just anyone if they still believe in every lasting love!

Alli – 15 +5 for being in a blooper Bonus: +10 for giving really one of the only concrete stories of the night. The whole asking her where she wanted to be in five years and then where she wanted to be in three years was such a perfect example of what was mainly just discussed in vagueries by all the band wagon jumpers-on. I'm sad they didn't let Alli talk at all this season. She seemed reasonable and pretty cool.

Melissa: 80

Sharleen - 50 +10 for being called the "most intriguing person we've had" by Chris Harrison. It is intriguing that some people don't think this show is the key to lasting love. +20 for earning whispers of audience disbelief + 5 for earning audience applause...for defending Juan Pablo's homophobia Bonus: +5 for saying Juan Pablo had "Buyer's Remorse" for sleeping with Clare. I actually don't think she meant it like that, but it's rather surprising that the only real cattiness of the night would come from her. +10 for admitting at long last that it was just physical

Chelsie - 10 +10 for being featured in two Bloopers and completely failing to otherwise show up

Kat - 15 +10 for being featured in two Bloopers Bonus: +5 for voicing her totally reasonable annoyance at not being considered one of the "special ones"

Lauren S. - 5 Bonus: +5 for point about "honesty." There was a lot of griping about Juan Pablo and, for the most point, I didn't score the pretty much constant reiteration about how he was unfair and used his daughter as a crutch and whatnot, but Lauren S. here had a legitimate gripe. I only wish she could have expressed it a bit more coherently when Juan Pablo had been on stage.

Maggie - 0 Poor Maggie. Or perhaps, Lucky Maggie. I suppose it largely depends on your perspective!

Maggie: 55

	Lauren H. - 0 Poor Lauren H. definitely just joined the Juan Pablo-bashing party and forgot to bring a gift. Her problem was not so much that Juan Pablo wasn't really listening...it was more likely that he was.
	Cassandra – 20 +5 for appearing in a Blooper Bonus: +5 for saying Juan Pablo was either disrespecting her or disrespecting Renee. An excellent illustration of the hypocrisy.  +10 for saying he shouldn't have gone on the hometown with Renee and shouldn't have met Ben. Cassandra was many, many times less vapid on the WTA then she was on the actual show.
	Danielle – 0
	Elise – 0
	Renee – 35 +10 for being featured in two Bloopers +15 for already being in a relationship Bonus: +10 for saying the things she likes about Juan Pablo are that he's "super handsome and has an accent." Knowing only that about him is how we got into this mess in the first place!

Week 8, The Scores

	Andi – 245 Wonderfully, Gloriously Self-Eliminated +5x2 for kissing on a one-on-one +5x2 for crying +15x2 for Juan Pablo commenting on her attractiveness (Bonus +5 because once it was to her mom) +25 for accepting the invitation to the fantasy suite +5 for a rose +10 for referencing her sadly lacking connection with Juan Pablo +50 for threatening to leave and following through Bonus:  +5 for Dad commenting on his attractiveness...sort of +5 for Dad talking about how awesome his son-in-law is +15 for making Juan Pablo a video in which the door was left open for him to believe she was coming to tell him she loved him. Andi seems like a straight shooter so I'm guessing that was the producers' doing, but he deserves it and it certainly doesn't make things any less awesome. So many amazing things happened that it was really hard to score Andi this week, but I didn't just want to say "whoever has her wins" and leave it at that, so I've decided to award +5 for every awesome and valid point Andi made and +10 for every totally unnecessary point that she clearly through out there just because she can't stand to look at Juan Pablo's stupid face.  That brings us to:    +5 for saying he didn't care about who she was    +5 for saying he needs to love her more than he loves himself    +5 for being totally prepared to let him off the hook until it is blatantly obvious that he could not care less that she is leaving    +5 for saying that she hopes he's different with Clare and Nikki    +5 for being pissed he talked about sharing the fantasy suite with Clare    +10 for the ludicrous "default" vs. "barely" debate    +10 for getting ragey every time he said "It's okay"    +10 for mentioning his name dropping.  That was amazing especially since clearly they've been editing around it      +10 for calling out the fact that all he wants to do is kiss rather than get to know her
	Clare – 155 +5x2 for crying +5 for kissing on a one-on-one +5x2 for kissing on a one-on-one with a hot tub bonus +25 for accepting an invitation to the fantasy suite +15 for blatant intoxication in the fantasy suite +15 for confessing her love for Juan Pablo +15 for Juan Pablo commenting on her attractiveness...in a bikini...with a creepy tongue roll +5x2 for a rose Bonus:  +15 for the not-at-all producer-concocted drama with Laura, my favorite part of which was when she huffily said "I'll just stand over here." +15 for totally understandable dithering about whether or not to accept the fantasy suite invitation. +0 points for not calling out Juan Pablo's disgusting continued hypocrisy on this subject.   +10 for being not at all disturbed by Juan Pablo casually dropping that he'll be spending the night in the fantasy suite with any and all takers +10 for saying "When we wake up, we'll know a lot more about each other." I do not want to know a single item that might have made that list
	Nikki – 115 +5x2 for kissing on a one-on-one +25 for accepting an invitation to the fantasy suite +5x2 for a rose +15 for confessing her love for Juan Pablo +15 for Juan Pablo commenting on her attractiveness Bonus: +10 for the super-subtle decision to ride the mechanic bull with Juan Pablo. So hard to figure out what she was trying to communicate there! +15 for the outfit she elected to wear while riding horses, single-handedly overtaking jodhpurs as the most ridiculous article of clothing ever to be displayed on the back of a horse +5 for saying that she felt like a giant weight was lifted off her shoulders once she confessed her love - that's exactly what you should feel when you tell someone you love them! +10 for her bizarre video in which she recapped their dates rather than, you know, talking about anything silly like feelings.
	Renee – 50 Eliminated +5 for crying, adorably because she was so overwhelmed when she saw Ben. Shame on the producers for making her wait to do it in front of Juan Pablo +5 for misusing the word literally +5 for kissing on a one-on-one +15 for confessing her love for Juan Pablo Bonus: +10 for being subjected to the indignities of having her eyebrows pet +10 for Renee's mom telling her "We can love out pets." You're lovely Renee. I'm sure that won't always be true!