Episode 9, Closing Arguments: On Lindsay

At this point in the season, all other things being equal, it seems like Lindsay is the one that Sean really wants to marry. She's the one Sean can't keep his hands off, the one that he's falling in love with (well, the one that's left anyway), and the one who he's started to think of as his best friend (even if he hadn't said that, you could tell because they have one inside joke...that dominates roughly 20% of their conversations...that is really not funny to anyone but them). But Lindsay is not without flaws, so Sean will have to weigh his decisions carefully as he prepares for the big proposal in a couple of weeks.

Pro: She is open to whatever Sean wants to do
While I did like that Lindsay's reaction to the bug-eating was "If Sean can do it, I can do it," the fact that she said she'd do anything but eat bugs and was promptly brought to the conveniently located bug stand in the Thai market was pretty classic Bachelor. And while I know that none of these girls actually truly have free will while they're on the show - there's clearly a low-level producer or key grip whose sole job is to spread rumors that make it clear that anyone who says no to Sean will immediately be sent home (I mean, look at what happened to poor Selma) - it really did seem like Lindsay would be chomping on the creepy crawlies and slurping down the sixth leg even if the cameras weren't turned on.
Con: She's probably open to whatever anyone wants to do due to her complete lack of impulse control
That being said, it kind of seems like she'd be open to whatever anyone said to her due to her total lack of impulse control and critical thinking ability.  This is the girl who donned a wedding dress on the first night and got totally blotto. It seems like her inability to say "no" might not simply be a sign of her devotion to Sean, but just the way she functions in general, and I'm not sure Sean's going to be quite so thrilled with his decision when she flashes the paparazzi employed by U.S. Weekly or adopts a stray armadillo because it looked at her with sad eyes.

Pro: Sean feels like he's with her high school sweetheart when he's with her
First of all, we clearly need to add points for causing the Bachelor/ette to say that he/she "feels like he/she is with his/her best friend" because Sean is not the only franchise representative who can't stop those words from spilling out of his mouth multiple times per episode. In addition to this, though, this week Sean likened Lindsay to his high school sweetheart, and I get what he's saying. Lindsay's giggly and young and relatively low-maintenance, and it makes sense that spending time with her would make Sean hearken back to a time when relationships were simpler and very, very sweet.
Con: What adult really wants to end up with their high school sweetheart?
That being said, there's a reason that most people don't wind up with their high school sweethearts, and that's because most people grow up as they age and their relationships and interests evolve. Most people probably have some sense of nostalgia for their first serious romance, but most of us also have memories of having dramatic fights in front of Mike Jefferey's locker and getting in trouble for breaking curfew and awkward dry-humping.



Pro: She strikes an excellent balance between tragic and ridiculous
Sean mentioned the first night that he realized that he could marry Lindsay and it was their first date in Montana. This wasn't the first time they kissed, or the first time that Sean realized there was more to her than just vodka and randomly firing synapses. It was the first time that she revealed her personal tragedy. We know, from the experience of poor AshLee, that Sean doesn't want a woman whose baggage keeps her from blindly following his every mandate, but clearly, he needs a little something troubling so that he can feel a connection.
Con: She doesn't understand how gravity works
After this season, you'd think everyone in America understood how gravity worked, but Lindsay still seems to be struggling. As you may recall, I awarded Lindsay points last week because she said she was "falling in love with Sean" and I honestly thought that would be the end of it. But for some reason, this week she was huffing and puffing and causing dinner table awkwardness because she now needed to tell Sean that she was "in love with him." This, to me, was more than a little ridiculous. While I understand the semantic difference between the two sentiments, I don't think there's an emotional one. By saying that you're "falling in love" with someone, you're implying that you'll very soon reach the eventual destination without any real chance of being diverted. Falling in love isn't traditionally seen as the metaphorical equivalent of flying a jet plane. You can't just pull up if you get too close to the rocky peaks of actual love below (though I imagine Lindsay couldn't actually pull up in a jet plane either...unless General Yenter is considerably more intense with his child-rearing than her hometown date led us to believe).